The 80-year-old husband and wife received a permit for divorce after four days of receiving a permit

It was originally intended to be registered on January 4, 2013 (the homonym of a lifetime) to give a good start to the beginning of the marriage. Unexpectedly, four days after receiving the permit, the 80-year-old couple Luo Yi and Xu Bing (a pseudonym) once again entered Yuhang Marriage Registry and planned to divorce.

Yesterday, the Hangzhou Civil Affairs Bureau released data on the registration of divorce from 2006 to 2012 in Hangzhou. The data shows that since the establishment of the Hangzhou Marriage Registration Management System in 2006, the number of divorces in Hangzhou has increased continuously for seven years. The 80-year-old couple such as Luo Yi and his wife became the main force of divorce in Hangzhou.

Why are more and more divorced couples? Is love more vulnerable, or is more people willing to fight for a marriage quality defense? In the past few days, the reporter has selected three generations of representative representatives of marriage counselors: 50, 70, and 80 to investigate.

Received a certificate on "Lifetime" day and divorced after four days

The number of divorces in Hangzhou has increased continuously for 7 years. After the 80s, the couples became the “stricken area”.

phenomenon

Luo Yi (born in 1986) and Xu Bing (born in 1987) are a couple of 80-year-old couples who have been in love for two years. Both are Yuhang people. They have a good family and they are all only children.

Although the two had their weddings at the end of 2012, they had to wait until January 4, 2013 before braving the heavy snowfall to go to the long queue of the Yuhang Marriage Registry to get a good book.

However, they did not expect to receive certification for less than five days. On January 8, they once again entered the Yuhang Marriage Registry. Lottery did not bring them a good marriage. This time, the two intend to divorce.

“We took a meal together on the evening of the 7th and went for a walk. By the way, I was going to buy some fruit to go home. I wanted to eat apples, but he wanted to eat bananas and had to buy bananas. When he fell in love, he couldn’t talk sweetly. He didn’t expect to register for 3 days, but he changed his face. "The strong character of Xu Bing is full of grievances. In her view, this is not a matter of several apples, but Luo Yi does not consider his own feelings.

This also reminded her of the night of the 6th, when she and her mother had an argument during their daily life, Luo Yi did not hesitate to stand on the side of her mother-in-law. "Since he listened to fucking anything, why did he have to marry his wife? Forget it!"

Because he believed there was something wrong with the purchase of fruit, Luo Yi did not say anything, but when Xu Bing pointed his finger at his mother, he couldn't help: "My mother gave birth to me and I didn't listen to her. You leave!"

On the morning of the 8th, the two men walked into the Yuhang Marriage Registry with a dark face.

“Does the family know that you are going to get a divorce?” In response to the doubts of the marriage instructor, the two responded indifferently. “What do you want to know at home? When you close, you will leave.”

But at the end of the day, the two young men in the air, under the persuasion of marriage instructors, promised to go back and think again.

But the 80-year-old couples Chen Tong and Li Wei who chose to marry on World Love Day (12th and 12th of 2012) decided to end their marriage for less than a month on January 6 this year.

“Since we have lived together, we have been arguing for all kinds of trivial matters almost every day. Values ​​and habits of life are really inconsistent.” The two men said in unison: Since it has been realized that this marriage is wrong, it is better to break it early, otherwise More painful later.

After 50: Depressed for decades

Finally hoped for relief

Lao Dong and Lu Qing are plain clothes and look like ordinary couples who walked down the street. When they entered the marriage registry, they had a calm expression. The two exchanges were very friendly. It was completely different from the divorce procedure.

"We have been arguing for more than 20 years after we have been married for more than 20 years." Lu Qing said that divorce was a shameful thing in the eyes of others in the early years, and public pressure was particularly great. And the children are still young and have to consider the feelings of their daughters, so despite the pain, the two have been struggling.

Now that her daughter has married and married, she has her grandson. "Look at our pain, she also advised us to divorce, and now the community is also tolerant of divorce a lot." Lu Qing said that although it has been nearly 60, but the two decided to end this painful marriage. "Since this marriage is a mistake, it is better to be free from each other and to have a little more freedom in the old age."

The divorce process between the two people is fast, because everything has been agreed upon for many years. After leaving the marriage, the two men still left the wedding place like their friends. "After all, there are juniors. We will still get together after the Chinese New Year."

After 80: More and more young people with flash wedding flash

According to statistics from the Ministry of Civil Affairs, from 2004 to 2011, the divorce rate in China has been increasing for eight consecutive years. Comparing the 2006 to 2011 Hangzhou divorce rate data (1.6, 1.8, 2, 2, 2.1, 2.2, and 2.2), we found that in the past six years, the divorce rate in Hangzhou has also increased gradually.

Is marriage getting sloppy? In the opinion of marriage instructors, this is more of a defense of marriage quality.

“The divorce rate after the 50s is very low, but this does not mean that their marriage quality is high.” Marriage instructor Shi Yang said that he had done a quiz and that 70% of the 50 or so married people who participated in the test were about 40 percent. - 80% are not satisfied with their marriage.

"We didn't divorce you just for you." In a lot of young people's impressions after 70 and 80, this is a word that parents once said. In the shackles of traditional concepts and the concerns of children's families, although they are not satisfied with the quality of their marriage, they have indulged themselves in family life and have suffered a lifetime of “tolerance”. For them, today's divorce is a rational way out after repeated thinking.

“I have found that from the late 70s onwards, women are getting a higher rate of divorce.” Marriage instructor Li Liqin said that with the changes in socio-economic and cultural development and the changing environment, women’s degree of attachment to marriage has gradually decreased. The economy is more independent. The "family forbearance" that traditional family life demands for women gradually retreats in their view of marriage. "It is undeniable that the temptation in today's society is even greater, but it also shows that after 60 and 70, there is a clearer requirement for the quality of marriage."

For the current main force of divorce 80, marriage instructors believe that there are many impulsive divorce.

"They grew up under the care of their elders. They are the generations they are concerned about. They live for themselves. Compared to marriage, they love themselves more." Li Liqin said that with the change in the concept of marriage, the marriage is treated as a community after the 80s. In order to pursue a win-win situation, the requirements for the quality of marriage are higher than those in the post-70s, but at the same time, they lack tolerance for marriage and partners. This also makes the word divorce more easily linked.

“In different stages of society, marriage also has its own distinctive branding of the times, and the nodes and methods of handling marriage are not the same.” Li Liqin said that the pursuit of marital quality is a manifestation of social progress, but at the same time it also reminds 80 Afterwards, impulsive divorce is not the right way to pursue the quality of marriage, but it may result in a loss of both sides.

“The matching degree refers to the degree of recognition of individual personality, individual life and family conditions, individual outlook on life, and values.” Chu Yang said that the individual personality includes the psychological state of the other party. If there is an extreme personality or the mind is not weaned, etc., it must be carefully considered. . The original family and personal life experience will have an important impact on individuals. "If possible, choose a similar type of family, so that the couple's outlook on life and values ​​will be more consistent."

Chu Yang said that experiments have shown that the attraction between the opposite sex is only about 1000 days. In the subsequent running-in process, the smaller the difference between the two sides, the easier it is to run in and the easier it is to maintain freshness.

Pursue the quality of marriage is a kind of progress

Learn how to maintain marriage is more critical

Depth

Wu Minqiang, marriage counselor commented:

After 80s, they lived in an era of more affluent physical environment and were all only children. They have a stronger self-awareness than after-post-50 and post-70, and have higher requirements on the quality of marriage, but their latitude has declined. Coupled with being spoiled by parents from childhood, many of the 80's did not even get a headship and lack family responsibility. Many couples did not learn to jointly maintain marriage. At the same time, more and more young people have flashed away from marriage and have become one of the reasons for the increase in the number of divorces.

After 70: Extramarital affair and child education become disintegration fuse

Huang Zhi and Liu Ping did not experience itching for seven years.

Liu Ping is an accountant. He works nine-to-five and has a personality of Gu Jia. Huang Zhi is a sales manager and he is a big supporter. The son is 7 years old, lively and lovely. This is a happy family of three.

In September last year, the son should go to elementary school, but on this issue the couple turned their faces. "I am a baby boy and I have to let him receive a good education from a young age." Liu Ping wants his son to attend a noble primary school, with a tuition fee of more than 10,000 yuan per semester. Huang Zhizhi advocated to go to elementary school at the door of his home. “At home there is a need to change to a larger house and you need to save money. Also, it is convenient to transfer to and from school at your doorstep.”

The loving couples of the past have been arguing for it every day. The question also changed from which primary school to Liu Ping complained that Huang Zhi did not make a profit and would not make money. "It's really bad luck with you. Even my son is guilty." In the end, Liu Ping's sentence left Huang Zhi to leave the door, and the marriage ended with this.

Unlike Huang Zhiping and Liu Ping, the 10-year marriage between Fang Hua and Yang Min ended in a third party.

Fang Hua does business and Yang Min is a civil servant. Three years ago, Fang Hua met Xiaoyi in a dinner. Small memories of young and beautiful, Fang Hua soon could not withstand the temptation, the development of the underground situation.

After discovering the clues, Yang Min did not hesitate to propose a divorce.

Marriage instructor Li Liqin comments:

In the 1970s, the educational level of women was gradually higher than that of traditional women. The economic and matrimonial views were also more independent. Women’s status and division of labor in society are also more important, so when women are challenged at their bottom line or have differences in values, it’s easier than ever to mention divorce.

Marriage instructor Shiyang reviews

Because of the shackles of traditional concepts and the relatively high level of women's attachment, after 50 years, the proportion of couples standing in the divorce army is not high. Even if the personality is different and the other party has an affair, the usual choice is "tolerance."

But now, with the improvement of social tolerance and the weakening of economic dependence, some of them have begun to have the courage to end their unhappy marriage and start over. Different from the impulsive divorce after the 80s, their divorce is often considered carefully. Although they are divorced and the atmosphere is very peaceful and friendly, they are usually diligent in divorce, and there is almost no possibility of persuasion.

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